I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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