U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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