Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There r osticjed everywhere
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize