At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
