I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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