Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
