so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
