If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize