There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
