I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
