If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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