he shaved USA in his pubs
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
