Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
