I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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