summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
