dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
