I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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