All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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