We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
