Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
