the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
