like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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