Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
