So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
