it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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