dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
this hospital has no fireball
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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