you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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