How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
