So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
