You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
