it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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