Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
