If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
