I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
