Moan for me like Helen Keller
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
