"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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