I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my sisters under your porch take her home
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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