Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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