I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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