how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
