I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
