Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
