it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am spending my child support on dildos
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
