You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
