I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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