im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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