I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
