what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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