well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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