So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
