Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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