Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
