Little spoons don't ask big questions
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
