he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
