I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
