I cut my penus on the lid.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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