Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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