just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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