he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
