i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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