Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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