Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
