Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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